Too many of us dwell on our past.
If we insist on constantly looking back, we can sometimes find ourselves locked in a vicious cycle that simply reminds us of our hurts and disappointments.
On saying that, I believe there’s a huge difference between actually living in the past… or just glancing back into it in an effort to resolve our past issues, leaving us able to create a happier, healthier future for ourselves.
Why are we so wrapped up in the past?
It’s a time long gone… in fact, by the time you finish reading this article it will be in the past. However – it’s not the immediate past that haunts us!
There is a certain lack of clarity when we try to relive past events.
To explain, let’s take an original document or photograph and make a copy of it. Then take that copy and run it through the machine again. If we repeat this process over and over we would end up with an image that looks very different to the original one we started with.
The same thing happens with our hurtful memories.
Whenever we dwell on them for too long we find that something has changed, and we may find that we get more hurt or more frustrated. Nothing has actually changed – it can’t, it’s in the past – but the more we re-examine the event the worse it can appear in our thoughts.
Sadly, if we’re not careful, we can find that our lives are shaped by those events. By never talking about them they will continue to affect our daily lives… and our future!
Take a look at yourself… is there a recurring theme in your life?
Maybe you are plagued by self-doubt, lack of confidence or perhaps you lack the ability to make commitment in a relationship? You could find the answer living in your past memories.
Maybe the wounds that you thought were healed are just hiding, covered up somewhere so no-one will see them.
Writing your thoughts down can help you to move beyond these things in your past. It can be a very effective way to get all of the emotions that are inside of you out into the open and so begin the healing process.
One way to do this is to keep a journal.
In the beginning you could try to write something each day, then only as often as you feel the need. Put down everything you think and feel – positive and negative – and if past memories pop up, then let the words flow freely, writing down the things that hurt or angered you as well as the things that you fear or make you happy. Don’t hold back… this is for your eyes only!
Alongside your journal you may also need someone to talk to, someone who can help you get over that final hurdle. This could be a member of your family, a trusted friend or even a complete stranger who comes your way.
Dwelling on the past puts a false face on sad times. Take an honest look at an old situation and see it for what it was. Deal with the pain of the past once and for all… and start to live for the future!
Good post Collette,
I agree with most of it. I especially agree with writing down all the bad stuff in a private journal. That does wonders for getting that trash OUT of your head. Basically, you don’t need to keep thinking about it because you KNOW that you have it on paper – IF you need to refer to it – which you probably won’t!
In many respects it’s like writing down a phone number – you don’t have to keep repeating the number back to yourself to try to remember it. Same with making a list of the shopping items that you need.
Unfortunately, by the same score, our newspapers and television news reports are PACKED with negative trash. The psychologists know that negative is far more popular so the news services cater for that. Negative sells because MOST people are negatively tuned and wired.
I stopped getting the newspaper every day because most of what I was reading was BAD news, tragedy and just full of negative stories and grief. Why do I need to know? If things get REALLY bad then somebody is bound to tell me.
Yesterday somebody gave me a newspaper. I flicked through the usual dross, read a couple of Letters to the Editor, read a few sports stories – actually, I skimmed them coz they were pretty much nonsense fillers. I was about to toss the paper out when…
… I noticed an article on Page 3 of the Health Today section of the West Australian edition of the 14th April 2010. It was entitled: “It’s All in the Mind.” Naturally, I just had to read that. And I’m gonna read it again later today. Quite fascinating.
Here’s the opening paragraph:
Interesting stuff and very similar to the things I teach in my Brain Training e-book.
having said all of the above – ie dumping bad stuff on paper to get rid of it – I am also one for reliving past glories. That can be so therapeutic. It can put you in the mood to repeat it. Or reach a higher level of consciousness or performance. I strongly believe in a theory I have called “muscle memory.” But that’s a whole new subject.
Anyway, this is getting way too long. Good post Colls. Nice look and feel to the blog too. Well done honeybunch.
Gary Simpson
TEMPLE
Great post, Collette. We have all had our past “challenges” and the trick is not to let them weigh you down and dim your optimism. Very nice thoughts.
Joel